Cheap Dave's Home Theater


Movie Review: Coffee and Cigarettes

Rating: Dentist Chair

OK right up front I have to admit I didn't make it all the way through this movie. But you can't make me. I dare you to try.

Rating: Dentist Chair

OK right up front I have to admit I didn't make it all the way through this movie. But you can't make me. I dare you to try.

OK my first mistake was trying to watch this movie in bed. It is one of the last VHS tapes I have and I don't have a VCR hooked up in my home theater (I don't plan to hook one up either). So we thought it would be good to put this quite little black and white movie into the bedroom VCR and watch it. Now to be fair it was still plenty early, way before my bedtime. But after just a few nearly identical scenes it was bedtime/

The movie is a series of vignettes that all feature two or more characters sitting around tables in restaurants and drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. I think that is the entire planning that went into this movie.

The conversations are not even mildly interesting. I kept thinking of the great line by Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, "Here's a tip. When you are telling one of your stories, try to have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener."

If there is a point to any of these little scenes I never picked up on it. They were so boring I really couldn't follow the dialog. I have overheard cell phone conversations that are more riveting than the conversations in this movie. A SAT exam has more pacing than this movie.

How many overhead shots of coffee cups on a table can one movie have? I like a good indy movie, but I have seen about enough Jim Jarmusch movies now to hold me the rest of my movie viewing life.

Ok I will outline one scene for you. We see Tom Waits and Iggy Pop (wait for it ) drinking coffee in a restaurant. What no cigarettes? It seems they have both quit. After about a minute of saying how good it feels to have quit they both light up. Whew I would hate to break such a genius premise even if it means losing all touch with reality. Tom Waits voice sounds like he hadn't had a cigarette in at least 10 minutes and Iggy looks like his drug of choice is heroin and not nicotine. They chat for a couple more minutes and then the scene is over. What have we learned? Well I am 15 minutes closer to death.

Compared to this movie The Girl In The Cafe is a tour de force. If you add this movie to your netflix list make sure it is at least 986th on your list.

I am not going to sell out and put links to buy this movie. That would just encourage them. So instead I will put links to better movies. Take two of these and call me in the morning.